What If...

I wrote this a while ago, and was waiting for the right moment to share it. The reason I was waiting is no longer relevant; what is relevant, however, is the message to a very recent personal experience. 
I was able to cope with it, because I never lost belief that everything works out for the best and everything fits together--even if we can't see it now, or never get to see it in our lives. 


One of my main rules of life is to avoid what-ifs. I try to live by this excerpt from the sequel to the classic novel Charlie and the Chocolate Factory:

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"What if they come after us?" said Mr. Bucket, speaking for the first time.

"What if they capture us?" said Mrs. Bucket.

"What if they shoot us?" said Grandma Georgina.

"What if my beard were made of green spinach?" cried Mr. Wonka. "Bunkum and tummyrot! You'll never get anywhere if you go about what-iffing like that. Would Columbus have discovered America if he'd said 'What if I sink on the way over? What if I meet pirates? What if I never come back?' He wouldn't even have started! ...." [Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator]

However, once in a while, I find that what-ifs can sort of be turned backwards and looked at from a different angle. And that's when those what-ifs can make you appreciate the incredible harmony and organization of this symphony we call life.

I recently did that--what-iffed backwards--and it made me smile and glow inside at the beauty of this world and the way everything fits together perfectly (even though we might not get to see it fall into place for a while).

This is my backwards what-if:

What if...I hadn't gone through a terrible break-up, and spent almost three days straight weeping the pieces of my broken heart out over my failed engagement....
Then...I wouldn't have been so miserable and despondent, that I wouldn't have listened to a suggestion to go onto a dating website to distract myself...
Then...I wouldn't have met a bunch of guys faster than I ever expected--including one who turned out to be my husband (though I had no idea at the time, of course)...

Let me interrupt to give you a short scenario that is relevant:

Not longer after my engagement fell flat on its ugly, unhealthy face, a family friend was moving to another country. Feeling like throwing all caution to the wind, I seriously considered asking that person out on a date just for fun (which was against my personal goals of dating--I was strictly against dating just for silly fun). But someone I know, for personal reasons, requested that I did not do that. So...

What if...That person hadn't been involved in something that caused him/her to ask me not to ask that family friend out...
Then...I would've asked him out, and if he'd said yes...
Then...I might not have followed up with those guys I'd just met online...
Then...I wouldn't have talked so much to my now-husband...
Then...We wouldn't have gotten married*...
Then...I wouldn't be blessed to have the sweetest husband in the world, who stands by me, even when I'm at my worst and I don't deserve it.

Never give into what-if thinking--unless it can make you appreciate the beauty of what you have all the much more. Because life is positively incredible, and everything we each are given in life corresponds perfectly to each of us individually. And when we are privileged to get to a point where we get a tiny glimpse of the play-plan of our life, and how all the cards are being played perfectly with masterful skill...Well, it's an awe-inspiring thing. And it's something to be grateful for.



*I know I would've lost my now-husband if I had given up my dating mindset of only dating to find my life partner. The reason I know this, is because my husband wasn't fooling around; he was seriously seeking his wife and someone to start a family with. He didn't just want to flirt and goof around for a year or a few, before really getting serious about thinking about whether he wanted to spend his life with the girl he was dating. He was straight forward about what he wanted; he didn't lead me on. I know if I hadn't been serious too, I have no doubt he would've moved on to find someone who was, who wanted to share in what he wanted.