Coming Soon

Experimenting in alcoholic frosting for schnapps cupcakes--stay tuned!

Super Power: Super Sniffer

I think I have obtained a new housewife super power: I smelled something I was heating up on the stove, and could tell from the smell that it was still cold. It smelled cold. 
(Maybe it had something to do with not as much heat rising to touch my face when I stood over the pot, but I could swear it smelled different. Really.) 
If I can now detect temperatures with my nose, it's going to be such a weird-but-awesome conversation-starter. 






Housewife super power I really want right now? Either boundless energy and motivation to finish cleaning up around the house, or the ability to fly (to give my aching feet a rest!). 




Photo source: http://www.adventuresofaglutenfreemom.com/2011/02/ode-to-my-nose/big-nose/

Handy Tip #1

This is an old tip that I've liked since before I moved away from home.


Sometimes after you run left-overs down the garbage disposal, it leaves an unpleasant odor.
Solution? Save your orange peels, and run them down the disposal after you've completely run/washed the odor-causing food down the drain. When the orange peels are ground up, they release their delicious citrus scent, which often covers up the bad smell all together.
It's also a great way to just give your kitchen a pick-me-up before the husband gets home, or you have guests over.
(This is possibly a myth, but I've heard that lemon-scent motivates people to be more sociable. Maybe orange scent could do the same, who knows! ;) Psychology experiments of a housewife.)

(An additional tip: I would use the orange peels sooner rather than later; if you save them for too long, they get dried out and hard.)






Photo source: http://myfrenchkitchen.wordpress.com/2010/02/18/crystallized-orange-strips-and-mothers-and-daughters/

Responsibility

First a person should put his house together, then his town, then the world.

                                                                

                                                                Yisrael Salanter 

What If...

I wrote this a while ago, and was waiting for the right moment to share it. The reason I was waiting is no longer relevant; what is relevant, however, is the message to a very recent personal experience. 
I was able to cope with it, because I never lost belief that everything works out for the best and everything fits together--even if we can't see it now, or never get to see it in our lives. 


One of my main rules of life is to avoid what-ifs. I try to live by this excerpt from the sequel to the classic novel Charlie and the Chocolate Factory:

‎

"What if they come after us?" said Mr. Bucket, speaking for the first time.

"What if they capture us?" said Mrs. Bucket.

"What if they shoot us?" said Grandma Georgina.

"What if my beard were made of green spinach?" cried Mr. Wonka. "Bunkum and tummyrot! You'll never get anywhere if you go about what-iffing like that. Would Columbus have discovered America if he'd said 'What if I sink on the way over? What if I meet pirates? What if I never come back?' He wouldn't even have started! ...." [Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator]

However, once in a while, I find that what-ifs can sort of be turned backwards and looked at from a different angle. And that's when those what-ifs can make you appreciate the incredible harmony and organization of this symphony we call life.

I recently did that--what-iffed backwards--and it made me smile and glow inside at the beauty of this world and the way everything fits together perfectly (even though we might not get to see it fall into place for a while).

This is my backwards what-if:

What if...I hadn't gone through a terrible break-up, and spent almost three days straight weeping the pieces of my broken heart out over my failed engagement....
Then...I wouldn't have been so miserable and despondent, that I wouldn't have listened to a suggestion to go onto a dating website to distract myself...
Then...I wouldn't have met a bunch of guys faster than I ever expected--including one who turned out to be my husband (though I had no idea at the time, of course)...

Let me interrupt to give you a short scenario that is relevant:

Not longer after my engagement fell flat on its ugly, unhealthy face, a family friend was moving to another country. Feeling like throwing all caution to the wind, I seriously considered asking that person out on a date just for fun (which was against my personal goals of dating--I was strictly against dating just for silly fun). But someone I know, for personal reasons, requested that I did not do that. So...

What if...That person hadn't been involved in something that caused him/her to ask me not to ask that family friend out...
Then...I would've asked him out, and if he'd said yes...
Then...I might not have followed up with those guys I'd just met online...
Then...I wouldn't have talked so much to my now-husband...
Then...We wouldn't have gotten married*...
Then...I wouldn't be blessed to have the sweetest husband in the world, who stands by me, even when I'm at my worst and I don't deserve it.

Never give into what-if thinking--unless it can make you appreciate the beauty of what you have all the much more. Because life is positively incredible, and everything we each are given in life corresponds perfectly to each of us individually. And when we are privileged to get to a point where we get a tiny glimpse of the play-plan of our life, and how all the cards are being played perfectly with masterful skill...Well, it's an awe-inspiring thing. And it's something to be grateful for.



*I know I would've lost my now-husband if I had given up my dating mindset of only dating to find my life partner. The reason I know this, is because my husband wasn't fooling around; he was seriously seeking his wife and someone to start a family with. He didn't just want to flirt and goof around for a year or a few, before really getting serious about thinking about whether he wanted to spend his life with the girl he was dating. He was straight forward about what he wanted; he didn't lead me on. I know if I hadn't been serious too, I have no doubt he would've moved on to find someone who was, who wanted to share in what he wanted.

Party Favors

My soon-to-be sister-in-law's bridal shower was today.

After smuggling out the remainders of the rolls of toilet paper from the "create a wedding dress" game (what house wife doesn't worry about entirely running out of TP?), I've realized that one's perspectives and goals kind of shift around once she's married...

It's especially noticeable when one excitedly texts her husband that she got free toilet paper--TOTALLY FREE!!!

But hey--the home has it's own delicate ecosystem; any imbalance can cause a ripple effect through out the rest of the house.
For example, we were recently out of toilet paper (BUT NOW WE HAVE EXTRA--BOOYAH!), and we used up all our paper napkins until I could get more. Now, of course, we have no napkins.

The house wife is not only an incredible multitasker, but a woman who must carefully keep a system in place, to avoid a spiral into utter chaos.



P.S. Please contact me if you know of a common household item that can be used as a napkin alternative.

The Little Things

While out at a lecture tonight, my husband got up to talk to someone. He then went to the refreshments table at the other side of the room. I continued listening, and when he got back, he handed me a cup of soda.

I hadn't asked him to get me anything; I hadn't even thought of him bringing me anything back. The soda wasn't even a kind I drink (but I did take a sip so as not to hurt his feelings).
But while he was there at the refreshment table taking care of himself, he thought of me too. That one little gesture really made my night.

The tiniest things one does for his spouse can bring his spouse such happiness, it's incredible. It kind of makes it seem shameful to miss out on those little opportunities.
Someone who spoke at our wedding talked about how a husband and wife have the unique opportunity to do kindness for each other every day. It's really beautiful.

My husband is capable of making his own coffee. But I still make it for him, because I love him and it's a tiny thing I can do just for him. (Seriously just for him--I do NOT drink coffee.)

It's so easy and so worth it to do some little thing for someone in your life, just to make them happy. You don't have to be married--try it!

Lessons from an Evil Queen

I recently watched the movie Mirror Mirror, starring Julia Roberts. It's another Snow White story--but for yet another Snow White story, it was fairly well done and enjoyable to watch. And it got me thinking about the main characters, particularly the Queen--and the life lessons I personally can see in her.


The Evil Queen in the classic Snow White story had a good thing going for her. She had a whole kingdom to herself, for starters.

But instead of focusing on everything she already had, she found one thing someone else--Snow White--had, and focused on it until it drove her to unspeakable things. In the end, she lost everything she'd ever had.

And sadly, she didn't even enjoy her blessings while she had them. She obsessed over Snow White's beauty so much, she never had peace of mind or true happiness. She was jaded to the beauty and good that surrounded her. Not appreciating her own bountiful lot in life was her downfall.


Additionally, the Evil Queen had some serious self issues.
 She was so into her appearance, she would kill for it. A bit exaggerated, but the underlying point, startlingly, isn't at all unrelatable to us today.
As a woman, I've struggled (and still from time to time do) with not feeling beautiful enough. In our culture, we've been ingrained with this notion that beauty is the foundation of being loved.

Perhaps that's why the idea of getting old and aging is partly so terrifying to many women. We don't want to lose that which makes us lovable. In fact, a fundamental aspect of the psychology of women is the need to be loved. That's partly what makes the ploy so ingenious and so cruel--we've been made to feel we must keep buying products to look beautiful, in order not to lose the love we want and need.

But what if we could un-brainwash ourselves? What if we could come to the realization that Snow White is the one who is right here, instead of following after the Queen?
Snow White was incredibly beautiful, yet she never focused on that. She is generally portrayed as being the sweetest, kindest, and most upright of heart person in the whole world.

If Snow had been turned into a frog, do you think everyone would've suddenly despised her?
And how many people do you think stood by the Queen after her reign fell, though she was the second most beautiful woman in the world? They both had beauty--but one was like a glass ornament: beautiful on the outside, hollow and cold within.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to look your best, and you shouldn't let yourself go. But it's when you take that focus on looking good to unhealthy extremes that you have a problem. And none of us should ever be afraid that we aren't perfect, or to physically age. People don't love a gift just for it's wrapping--and if they do, they're missing out on an awful lot.

A good heart and beauty within always find their way out, and people--anyone worth mentioning--can definitely see it. Even if it isn't in the form of bee-stung ruby red lips.
I'd like to proffer a new approach: Put on a respectable and pleasing appearance, but focus, worry and constantly fuss about your inner beauty--the things and traits that make you Good. Those are the things that truly make you lovable.
And hey--there's nothing that adds to that healthy glow like the rush of doing some little act of kindness for someone, just to be nice! ;)


Another lesson to be learned is this: If you spend your whole life in the pursuit of something evanescent, then when your life comes to fruition, that's all your life and its pursuits will be: vapor that vanishes into thin air as if it had never been there to begin with.

The life pursuits of beauty, trying to impress and prove oneself to others, riches, glory, materialism, and pleasure for pleasure's sake are all empty, and like the most sought after home-cleaning product, they leave no trace behind.

The ones that last forever--even after you're gone from this earth--are family, acts of kindness, friendship, love, teaching and giving to others, and the like.

I think I speak for all of us, when I say that we don't want our lives to just shatter and be discarded like a broken mirror. We want the priorities we had in life to continue on--like a beautiful gentle snow that blankets a castle. We want our little snow flake to be a part of something bigger and more beautiful, something memorable.


I feel sorry for anyone who--like the Queen--falls into the traps enumerated above. They make for a sad, difficult and generally meaningless life. I wouldn't wish any of them on any one.
The Evil Queen had life, but she never lived.